Thanks for each persons words of encouragement
I understand all that you say. When I first joined the forum I thought I was with people who felt the sane way I do, people who were scared and feeling really worried. Now I can see that everyone on here is doing alot better and doesn’t need to vent. Maybe I should find a forum for heart stent placement beginners. lol I don’t really know how to explain how I feel. I understand that I should be thankful to be alive – AND I AM – I understand that none of us live forever – I REALLY DO – I understand that cancer or a desease which only gives you a short time frame for living would be really bad – I REALLY UNDERSTAND ALL OF THAT. What I don’t understand and the thing that drives me out of my mind is this. I have pains (I will call them) in my chest, in my jaw, in my back - Now these are not pains that I could rate on a scale from 1-10 They are just uncomfortable – Like just enough to remind me that – “OH WAIT A MINUTE I HAVE A HEART DESEASE, I MIGHT DROP DEAD” Before you say it I also understand that anyone could drop dead at anytime. I guess what I want to know is this. If I have tightening on my jaw, pains in my back, weird sharp pains in my chest and so on and I tell the doc about it the first thing they want you to do is have another cath That scrares the hell out of me. I don’t want another cath. I don’t want to think that everytime I think there might be a problem that I will have to have another cath to find out. I know what I want and what they have to do is two different things. I just guess I don’t know when to go and when not to go. Of course if I really thought I were in trouble I would head out. but how does one know unless your having really BAD problems? I guess I will stop bothering you all and remove myself from your forum as I know there is not much more you can say. I appreciate all that you all have done for me and I wish you all the best. Maybe you all should rename this forum to “People who have suffered heart attacks, bypass and stents and haven’t a worry in the world” Sub Title ” We have it all togehter” I am not talking to all of the members as I know and have talked to people who are terrified just like I am and who are sitting in the background reading these posts and thinking I know where she is coming from. Maybe it takes time to sort all this out – Maybe someday I will be able to come on here and tell people to get it together, everybody is going to die sometime, no one lives forever and take it one day at a time and be thankful for it. I hope that I can someday. But I know that I will never forget the fear that I have had and god only knows how long I will have it and that is what I will still try to talk to those new people about. I will let them know that Suffering from a heart problem is one of the most terrible things that can happen to you mentally and some times physically and that I do not take it lightly. I will talk with them about the real fears and help to calm them until I know I have done everything I can to help this person fall asleep at night. I will do everything I can to help them to maybe be able to stay at home by themselves again and go to a store alone again. I will never say “Hey get it together I don’t understand why you are so upset – You got a second Chance (MAYBE) You don’t need to understand why it happened just get back to your living and don’t worry about dieing, Hey if it happens it happens Because It happens to everyone”. Oh and just for the record. I wanted to let you know Miss Prissy, Your remark about most people who have reached 40 have a handle on thier mortality issues. I have to differ with you there. I have talked to many men on this forum who are well into thier 50′s who cry themselves to sleep at night. Guess why? Because they are scared as hell. They are all thankful to be alive but they are scared to death and some can’t even sleep at all. You all have a great night and thanks for your time
I ask my doc a question about the pains. He said how long do they last. I answered longest is 20 seconds. He said do you remember the pain you had when you had your attack. I said hell yes. He said if you fell something like that, then get ready it’s coming. He said those twinges you are feeling is some of the healing of the damaged part. The growing of new veins and changes in electrical path changes. It’s also meds too. You will grow use to them and will be able to recognize them. Oh. By the way I am scared too. I just can’t allow fear to control me. If it did life wouldn’t be worth living. Bottom line….! I didn’t ask to be born into this world and I didn’t ask to die in it, happened and will happen I got no control over it. If I can’t control something then I forget about it…! Calm down and enjoy each lovely second.
Hi Jen, all I can say is I hope you stay, we are all different and we are all scared at some point! Ive been reading the mails just of late and I can see and feel both sides of the fence, Yes we need to strong and thankful ,and yes we should be over the moon that we are still around to be able to discuss things, And I am sooooooooooooo thankful but that still doesn’t stop me lying awake each nite! , 18 years ago this july my youngest daughter was born , She was born with down’s syndrome, 2lb in weight, blocked intestines, and a hole in the heart! at an hour old, they fixed her stomach, at nine months when she doubled her weight to 4 pounds they packed her in ice took her heart out and fixed that! they told me she wouldn’t prob survive and deff wouldn’t speak much or do anything as a so called normal person would do! They recommended at the time if she got through her medical problems we should consider a home for her(it was like that at the time) with that statement I just looked them in the eye and said like hell! and began to fight a very tough system, she got well, she has attended normal school all the way, left school with 3 A levels, and now attends collage 5 days a week studying child care, Yes it was a load of stress all those years fighting her corner, but nothing compared to her own personal fight long the way, but you will never see that kid without a smile on her face, I don’t know what im trying to say really, maybe its you should look people in the eye more often , people like Cardiologist, who say you may die at any moment! or people who say “pull yourself together” “be thankful” just look em in the eye and say” LIKE HELL” I sing to a couple of thousand people a week and they wouldn’t have a hint that’s there is any wrong with me, I have a daughter with a big smile who hugs me every nite and say’s don’t worry dad you’ll be just fine , “call me if you need me” its ok to be scared Jan, its ok to cry! if I lived closer id. come and have a good cry with ya!, take care David (uk)
David, with a caring father like you I know your daughter could not have been in better hands. I am so sorry that you had to go thru all that but I am incredibly happy that your daughter is now doing so good. I am sure you had alot to do with it. If she grows up to be anything like her dad then she will be in great shape.